Monday, December 20, 2004

dry and dreary...

i'm sick. the weekend rather ushered a not so good start for me. i went home at the wee hours of saturday morning due to some drinking spree along the joints of the red light district of malate last friday night. i was in high spirit though. i cant figger out really what transpired the entire night except i was out of my mind. whatever happened, i sincerely regretted all the things i did the following day :) which includes screwing that chubby hooker..:):):)

i went to the gym the moment i woke up last saturday. thinking that sweating it out could kill the drowsiness and nausea im feeling from the colt ice i took the other night, i was wrong. during the entire two hour work out, i was feeling entirely consumed and my throat and mouth seemed to dry up. i was thinking then that maybe this could be a prelude to some sickness again that i have been ignoring for two weeks now. i was right. after eating lunch, i could not contain myself anymore in one single place. i was kinda uneasy, everything that's around me seemed to be topsy turvy and i was really feeling cold. i slept in the room without the electric fan but still the cold feeling bit me to the bones. i took some medications but it didnt do its wonders. the following day, i was tipsy and nauseated and burning hot from fever. though i got the chance to check my mails and of course visit my blog, i could not do anything. my mind seemed to stop. it's not just simply working. the whole afternoon of sunday, i was nursing a burning fever by myself because the rest of my housemate went to a birthday party. thinking that i might convulsed (see, i have some apprehensions also :)...i just employed my meager knowledge in water therapy. i secured some cold water to clean myself up from time to time because my fever wont just subside...really. i was mad at myself for bringing myself into this mess. added to that was that i wasnt able to buy enough medicine to last me until they came home at night. and so from the morning til 5 in the afternoon i just had to be satisfied without any medicine but the water therapy i was giving myself. by the time i could not bear the fever anymore, i went down and bought some medicine. after which, i felt better. good god.....whew....

today, i thought of not coming over to the office but then again i have to be here because its our christmas party. a simple get together they say and not a party actually. however they call it, it's just the same. the thought is, there is a celebration. i still am not feeling well. i took alaxan FR and medicol to relieve myself but it's not just working. im dizzy and my back hurts. im thinking that there must be something wrong with my whole system this time. the bottom line of it all, im still having my water therapy though at this very moment. last night was also an ordeal for me because aside from the fever, i have to suffer cold and asthma attacks. good thing my inhaler always comes in handy. but the point is i still am suffering from lots of complications due to that friday night drinking spree....

too much of that....


today, i promise not to drink even if there's a party. il just eat. binge. and have some fun on the sides...

merry christmas to all..


p.s.


i wish i feel good today so that i could get drunk....:)




Friday, December 10, 2004

christmas is around the corner..

the news today reads: survivors found in the rubble of fallen edifice in quezon. strange huh? after like how many days, i think 6 days after the killer typhoon visited the philippine shore, it is just a blatant shock to know that they have survived down under the fallen building without anything to eat. a case of having nine lives? not really. a miracle i guess. there was even a child (looking weak and burnt out) that has survived the tragedy. rescuers were jubilant that their efforts were fruitful and that they haven't given up to look for someone alive in the ruins. a case of unseen hand must have been on the works.

now, here comes the planned party in the office. last time i heard that it would not push through because it would be uncalled for us especially that we are in the environment sector to have an extravagant party while our brothers in the typhoon torn areas are still grieving the loss of life and their property. they've got a point there but they could just at least consider that we should have at least a small gathering to celebrate the closing of the year. not an extravagant and vulgar party but just a simple one for us to celebrate the birthday of Christ and of course, the bottom line, to enjoy before finally waving goodbye to 2004. i just hope for a good turn out of what they're planning so that if ever it would push through at least for this year something better will happen in my life (im not saying bad things happened to me lately)...

lately, ive been experiencing feverish feeling and cold especially when the sun starts to set it. i dunno but i just feel uneasy and somewhat tipsy when the dark comes. perhaps due to lack of sleep. but then again, i seldom go to gimmicks and some late night tv show watching anymore. something must be wrong with my body system i guess. although i religiously take my vitamins, it could have been worse if ever i dont take them right.

im still on the crossroads whether i could go home this christmas. if i could have only my christmas bonus and i am not paying for that damn cell phone, i could have money to spend to go home. anyway, whatever it is, i'l just make the most out of it. il stay here and pass the yule tide season uneventfully. but i promise that if i could not go home this christmas, at least i could go home on fiesta. that way, it would be a bargain....


til here for the meantime....


Sunday, December 05, 2004

cold december rain...

the seething morning air sends shiver down my spine lately. though at night, it's the complete opposite. you could not just bear the heat. it's so warm that you could hardly contain yourself in one position when you are about to sleep. just last night, it took me a couple of hours before i could get sleep. i think it was already morning when i drifted to wonderland.

it's raining outside. i would sometimes associate rainy days to my moods. somehow, when it rains, i feel like it's gloomy also. i dunno. gloomy in the sense that i feel lonely and and i feel sad.

wait i gotta go...

Friday, November 26, 2004

leaving things behind

it's true that best things in life are free. a walk in the beach, gazing at the stars and the moon, the sunset in the baywalk, the refreshing air in the mountains and a lot more you could just get for free. i could bask in the stillness of the river and be swallowed by the calmness of the sea. waves that slaps the sand could send me to wilderness and think about nothing else. a long leaisure walk could restore the wearied and consumed brain of mine. such things...

there are instances (ive noticed lately though that it has been less frequent) that i do get a chance to savor all these and more but for hours only. two weeks ago, i was in tagaytay and i got to visit the palace in the sky. the famed structure constructed by imelda marcos during her heydays in the malacanang. it was a breathtaking sight believe me. from up there you could see everything. the taal lake, cavite skyline, and polluted metro manila. when we got there, we could hardly see the way up because of the fog. the moment we went out of the car, shivers gripped my entire body. it was so cold. feels like im in baguio again. because of the fog, we could hardly see anything. but then by all means, God must have known im there. so he sent a strong wind and washed away all the fog. and voila, in just a moment i am in heaven and could see everything clearly. and i mean very clear view of the 360 degree location where i am standing. wow...


and again, that was for free (well of course the proponent spent some money to bring me up there)....


i could not think of anything that may have in any way relation to the title i wrote above. maybe, i was just depressed a few minutes ago (hehehe).


i havent had a chance lately to squeeze in some movie treat. i dunno. i was pre occupied with too much drinking and school. weekends have been sacred to me too. i don't go out at all. when i do, i go to the gym to do some work out.

til here...







Thursday, November 25, 2004

gladly...

IT'S NOT ALWAYS RAINBOW AND BUTTERFLIES...


i woke up rather late this morning and was stranded by the nationwide strike by some disgruntled transport groups. it took me an hour to get to my office from the usual 15 minute ride. times are hard. a lot of us are struggling to make a living and yet nothing comes out good from the efforts and sweat we are investing. they say that these are the signs of times and it is high time to juggle another work aside from the work you are into.

there maybe a thousand and one reasons why people tend to long for something more. humans as we are, it is just natural especially when we lack the resources, the power and the means to get what we need in life. some would resort to the extremes like doing favors for others for a fee. it's quite ironic then that even though we are in a country where resources are abundant, we still are poor. a little rich country but with poor people. imagine the ironies. if we have to point fingers, we could have done it a long time ago. but then it seems to be a cycle. the system in the government, the values (if you may call it) or should i say the attitudes and behaviors are being passed on from generation to generation. which explains why we could not make even a short leap from what we have been before.


ME!

ME!

Monday, November 22, 2004

drained but not consumed...

WORK DRAINED ME TODAY...

but that doesnt mean im giving up. as they said life has two purpose, either to live or to exist. i chose the former...life is just too short id better get advantaged of what it has to offer and not just exist and breath and then regret what must be done...

going back to the topic i was planning to write on, work drained all the best in me today. i have to finish a lot of things because the deadline has been the bottleneck lately in the office. added to that is the work that keeps on coming as if work load never runs out.

after work, i still have to go to school which i think consumes all the energy that has been left after work. it's not that im not thinking of giving up but i think im bringing too much hassle to myself. when i get home at night, i could not bring myself to even just clean my pimpled face anymore.

im thinking of giving up my masteral class because it's too taxing for me to haggle work, school and more school (im referring to my masteral class). imagine, my last month's subject was almost a disaster. i was not able to attend regularly and was not even able to do my report. i just submitted my written report so that i could have my grades....


to top it all, money spells the difference. i dunno how to budget my meager salary and the bills i have to pay. i hate to talk about this kaya im ending this blog tonight...

til next time..



Sunday, November 21, 2004

bday post ops...

THE DAY AFTER...

spirits drain the best in you. you're like a lame duck the morning after a drinking spree. you see, yesterday, chloe (she's my niece) celebrated her first birthday. i havent had eaten too much but then i had a fill of beers.

i'm having a hard time budgeting my time lately. i wasnt able to come to my nursing class for almost a week now. last friday, i was planning to come in but then albie celebrated his birthday too. we went some bar hopping from romelie's to himba to cowboy grill and finally calle 5. RD was with us during our last stop at calle 5 just to have a swig of draft beer and paid the bill. bwahahah...i pity him though. but much to my surprise because i didnt spend a single penny last friday except for a taci back home. drank and spent up, i arrived at 3 in the morning and was still able to perform my cleaning regimen (imagine)...hehehhe

i promise that next week il do good with my studies at the same time my work...




Sunday, November 14, 2004

im back...

GREAT PICS ...

i wasnt able to finish what i was writing nevertheless im back. but not to finish what i have started but to expirement on postng my pics. that's why i had a series of pictures posted that has no bearing at all. i promise to remove them the moment i am able to find new pictures that would suit to what is being written here...



see those abs...and grin with envy... Posted by Hello

just woke up...

GETTING UP...MOVING ON...

making a mark in this topsy turvy world even without people knowing it is so difficult. mark in the sense that you know for yourself you did something worthy, something noble and something worth remembering even if ages would come. i haven't encountered a person yet who have the ultimate dream of just making a mark in his whole life and forget about having to satisfy his own life's dreams.

i came accross a selection entitled "The INvitation" written by Oriah MOuntain Dreamer. This peace of not so lengthy literature shaked my not so normal world. When you look at the piece of work, the selection is so simple and very ...

wait i gotta go.

never on sunday...

FINDING THE RIGHT MENU...

seldom we could find people who are idealistic and would stick to their ideals no matter what happens. some would do lip service most of the time while others would just let things happen as they are and would not do a thing to change it. finding friends just like those people would seem hard. in fact it really is. maybe, there could only be one in a thousand people. an element of friendship is trust. once a trust is lost, i could never say that it could go back again. it happened to me once and i thought things would be the same again. but it never did. i dunno. perhaps for other people it could happen but in my case i simply drifted away. not that i am blaming myself for not making any effort to bring back the things we usually do but i guess the other person drifted away from me too. a mutual unspoken understanding i guess.

weekendly aside ( i should not be so sentimental and philosophical), it should be a light and easy day for me. i feel good and in the same way that the weather is just perfect to while away and read some good book. yesterday, i went to pure gold and found not just a golden book but some sort of realization that humans as we are people commit mistakes. so much of that...

this morning, i went to the stinky gym and did some bench press and dip ones.


til here...


Friday, November 12, 2004

Being Late But Never Outdated

FOR A NEWBIE...

for a newbie like me i deserve to have blasting display of fireworks and some horns blowing (sounds like christmas) in here...

the truth to the matter is, i saw the blogspot of calamansi and was inspired to have my own (well, here it is)....i just thought it to be cool to publish everything in here , right. my diary and journal days have been forgotten say 10 years ago but with this...man...i feel like im going back again and it feels good to write again. well, the difference is that i wont use pens and papers anymore....

value added is that i guess i get to publish my thoughts here including pictures and everything i want to post...for all the people to see...cool.........

although i have't started yet how to use this. i swear to good heaven's il learn in a weeks time.