Monday, October 31, 2005

october pahabol

it's been a month since my last blog. i havent had the luxury of so much time lately to sit down and share my thoughts here. the semester is finally over. the work in the office has been taxing too.

i got to go for a while.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

it's great to be back...

im back. i wish i could make my blog visually appealing too just like the blog of others. problem is i seldom have even time to update it and not even spare time to study on how to do it. so here i am settling with templates...

it's been a long time. i've been wanting to update this blog but then as mentioned above, time would not permit me. midterms is over and so im thinking of where to get money again for the finals. this early, i am thinking of hitting the baywalk and hope someone could pick me up for a fee...(anybody there...hehehe). kidding aside, the midterm payment was a traumatic one for me. why? i nearly was not able to pay because up to the very last minute i still have no money. good thing some of my exams were postponed. thanks heaven...

and so this morning when i went to school, my groupmate for the supposed hospital duty told me that we have to enroll right after taking the finals...good god but im having a problem again. that means right after the end of october, i have to find another ten thousand. and look at this, when i had my subjects assessed, it hit the a whopping 49 thousand....whoa.....and to think those are only four subjects. the capping and pinning fee is not yet included there which is about more than 6 thousand also. whew....

il cross the bridge when i get there ika nga. for now, il just think about the finals for the mean time.

Monday, September 12, 2005

just read it somewhere...

Ventura's body language

AFTER HIS TRIUMPH IN THE Second Ateneo Art Awards, Ronald Ventura has mounted a show that confirms his winning was no fluke.
Though we have misgivings about pitting artists in a cruelly competitive manner, Ventura is doubtless in a class by himself, totally devoted to his muse and attuned to the demands of an ever-changing moral universe.
Here, in a show of recent works involving mixed-media techniques, the artist renders the nude as the supreme fetish.
The University of Santo Tomas-trained artist has always struck us as a bravura artist. His experimentations, particularly with the body as main vessel of his art, in both style and substance, are the products of a postmodern sensibility that is constantly mutating and transmuting, where the signifier and the signified are fused, and visual puns take on their most absurd meanings.
In the exhibit "Morph," (West Gallery, SM Megamall, until Sept. 13), the seemingly disparate images are connected by the technology-driven technique of allowing a discourse to take its own course.
In "Basic," for instance, the image of painted jeans ripped sideways to reveal two pairs of legs in motion makes for a double teaser, a thoroughly engaging treatise on the Jungian duality of the body's erotic power.
The same title is used for a much smaller work in oil, a diptych of sorts showing the two sides of the female torso.
Memory is another subject in which Ventura proves most engaging. In "Memory Lost," the male nude is positioned downward, its head replaced by an illuminating object held by the two arms of the figure. Not one to be bothered by facial features unlike artists of realism, Ventura defines the essential as invisible to the eye.
The artist's savage-like rendering of man's anatomical parts has its apotheosis in "Metamorphosis," executed in acrylic and charcoal on paper and canvas. Thighs and legs have been configured in a most surreal mode, fused in a manner Dali would have approved, approximating the symmetry of the two sides of the body.
In a surprising departure from his obsession with the nude, Ventura shows a mock soldier in "Toy Story" in total combat finery, complete with a rifle aimed at the viewer. The artist simply may be testing his ability to clothe his figures as well as he undresses them, and what more felicitous way than to show the most heavily cloaked figure today to signify the terrors of our age.
Turning more melodious in his musings, and proving his ambidexterity with materials and techniques as well, Ventura has a suite of sculptures which he simply calls instruments. These include a horse with two heads, a dog wearing the mask of a centaur, a vase in bronze color and a string instrument salvaged from industrial junk.
This is a show that teases and excites. Ventura has boldly ventured into the aesthetic and the moral. We come out pleased and provoked, disturbed and enlightened.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

love song to memorize....


Grow Old With You"


[Billy Idol (Speaking):] Good afternoon everyone.
We're flying at 26,000 feet, moving
up to thirty thousand feet, and then we've got clear skies
all the way to Las Vegas, and right now we're bringin you some in-flight
entertainment. One of our first-class passengers has written a song
inspired by one of our coach passenger, and since we let our first-class
passengers do pretty much whatever they want, here he is.

[Robbie Hart (Singing):]
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with yo

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

too much wine and spirits....

i see a pattern. the byword i've been using for quite sometime now. pattern nad more of it. for after all, life is a pattern. day in and day out, it's a routine that we all face.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

life's a shit!

i finally knew that life is. and who would have thought it would be this way. not in a million years.

im drunk right now. it's 11:30 in the evening and im barely able to contain myself. i was not able to update my blog for a long time and it's high time for me to do so.

after office, shine and i went to albie's house to drink. matador at that. i went home afterwards feeling a lil bit tipsy and arrived home to find that mak had his friend. and so another drinking session.

pulang kabayo. i already downed two bottles and it's quite liberating. i am trying to type here as sober as i could but the keyboard just seem to be offhand. i dunno. i had to strike the backspace a lot of times just to make my work readable. now you'll know why wrong spelling would come out later. i could barely see the screen.

anywaym, tomorrow is the start of my prelims week. il start with health ethics and i hope 8i could pull it off. i havent studied a single copuy of my notes but i still keep muy fingers crossed taht id make it tomorrow.

first thing first, i hope i could pay my bill first because i could not get the exam if i coulndtr pay the bill.

til here im out of tuened yata...

Sunday, July 17, 2005

song to memorize...

i happen to watch pinoy pop superstar two weeks ago and the winner sang this song...


HANGGANG

Wency Cornejo

ilang ulit mo nang itinatanong sakin
kung hanggang saan
hanggang saan, hanggang kailan
hanggang kailan magtatagal
ang aking pagmamahal
hanggang may himig pa akong naririnig
dito sa ating daigdig
hanggang may musika akong tinataglay
kita'y iniibig
chorus:
giliw wag mo sanang isiping
ikaw ay aking lilisanin
'di ko magagawang, lumayo sayong piling
at nais kong malaman mo
kung gaano kita kamahal
hanggang ang diwa ko'y tanging sa 'yo laan
mamahalin kailanman
hanggang pag-ibig ko'y hanggang walang hanggan
tanging ikaw lamang
hanggang may himig pa akong naririnig
dito sa ating daigdig
hanggang may musika akong tinataglay
kita'y iniibig
hanggang may puso akong marunong magmahal
na ang isinisigaw ay lagi nang ikaw
hanggang saan, hanggang kailan
hanggang kailan kitang mahal
hanggang ang buhay ko'y kunin ng maykapal
hanggang may pag-ibig
laging isisigaw tanging ikaw

my japanese name...

Your Japanese Name Is...




Masakazu Hojo

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

the flare of writing...

i wasnt able to finish my blog last time. talk of laziness and fatigue. well, not so much of laziness i guess but perhaps due to time constraint. i hardly had the time to check my mails anymore. even though my internet connection is back in the office, the bulk of work is just too much to bear i could not even have the time to open my ym ad.

aside from the fact that school is financially draining, the thought of just having to work full time the whole day and attend classes at night seemed a bit too offbeat. a week ago, someone commented that i was physically deteriorating (i hope she was not referring to someone as skinny as the one pictured out in the movies) or should i say i lost some pounds. i was a bit elated knowing that indeed i am losing weight but on the other hand i was thinking that maybe. well, just maybe, the toll of having no enough rest and not enough sleep is slowly weaving its way. and so after that incident, i am taking my vitamins again which have been put aside for quite sometime now. and then i resumed having my milk every night again. with the exception of course if i had some bottles of beer i would not take the milk anymore.

this sunday, i was with gina and geline to attend mass. yeah, finally i'm back in God's bosom. not a mass actually since we attended the sunday service of bread of life ministries in glorietta cinema 6. last saturday though, geline texted me that she could not make it for the sunday church because she was to attend a birthday party. and so i told her that even without her i am coming since as i said i'l be fixing my life starting this week. i dunno what happened but she changed her mind and opted to go with us. she even treated us to free lunch at mcdo. whoah...very kind of her.

what i was supposed to blog last time was the incident in the sunday service. it was enlightening. really. the whole time of the sermon, i was touched to the bones that i was in the midst of soul searching. what have i done this past weeks and months why i am so sensitive to what the pastor was talking. i could not even contain my emotions i have to shed tears the whole time. but of course gel and gina could hardly notice them since the lights were dim inside the theater. even the songs were so meaningful i was crying the whole time they were singing. i dunno. perhaps because of my long absence from the church. or perhaps because i've sinned too much repentance was creeping right into the heart of me. i was renewed. i alighted from the theater feeling like a new person and a new being. i was new again. i felt like a big load was taken off my back. i was thinking the whole time of those persons who have pained me and vowed that i will no longer hold any grudges and harbor vengeance for i know that i dont forgive i'll never be forgiven too. after sharing lunch with gel and gina and exchanging some thoughts about what transpired, i said that this coming sunday, i'm going back again to hear the mass in glorietta (they have free coffee and bread)...isnt that great? where could you find a first class church service in a premiere mall at that with coffee and bread? only in philippines....you just have to bring your coat though because it's so cold in there i tell you.

today, i attended my euthenics class (read: personality development). the administration of our school thinks that there is a need for nurses to develop their personalities that we have to agonize with the one unit course once a week. frankly speaking, i hate the subject. but then after attending the subject today( my last two meetings were a disaster since i always arrive in the class when the teacher is about to dismiss them). and so i was very early. il be punctual this time i said. our teacher, Mr. Batula or rather Ms. Batula is homosexual and the exchange of ideas between the students is great. and so i started to like the subject. since he's gay, the conversation inside the room is full humor and witty notes on the side.

i think i'l sleep now.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

fixing my life....

fix your life! (or umayos ka!)in office and clique jargon has been a byword for me. a usual remark when a person is not acting or saying the right thing. lately

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

acclimatizing...

as in changing of the season, i do acclimatize. i am slowly adopting to the busy pace of life. aint got a choice but to go with the flow. although i think it's not normal, i am beginning to get used to it. going home late. having to sleep late. getting early on the road. working to the bones. going to school and back home. routinary? yeah i guess so.

tonight, we have no class. it was announced last week so it's a relief unlike previous ones where i have to go to school and learn after braving the rain and flood and heat and traffic i could go on some more that we have no class. this time, it was announced. you know what i am thinking? because i am already used to having a class after work, it's rather strange that im home early. i have eaten early also and im in front of the pc updating my blog. it's a good thing that sometimes there would be no class so that i'll have time to update my blog.

good news....my internet connection in the office is back. what a relief. now i will have a chance to be online the whole day again plus the fact that i could be able to use the free text which could save me a lot of money. yipee...

last sunday, i was not able to attend the practice for health care I presentation. i just slept the whole day. of course with intervals during eating time. i have to feed my self. i havent had a good meal especially during weekdays where id usually go home drunk (aside from being too late) and have no time to go upstairs and eat dinner. now i wonder why how will i do my piece this saturday since it would be role playing instead of the usual reporting. i heard from roland (my opto classmate that we have to be early as 7 am for the final practice). il just keep up with them. anyway, the role playing will be in tagalog lang naman. i have to practice my theatrical prowess again(sounds like i have an artist's blood eh).

yesterday was so taxing in the office. i was not able to do my routinary work the whole day. i had to do the lecture of RD for the PCAPI (topic was environmental ethics...man, i tell you at the end of the day, i could still not figger out how i was able to finish it since i myself could not understand what i had written). then i have to finish another one since it was to be delivered today (topic was environmental issues/laws affecting food industries nowadays)...i have doubts also. im not prepared to do those things. had i been given some more time like 3 or 4 days the most, it could have been better. but just the same, i had to finish them. whatever the outcome, i just hope that they were not happy with it so that i wont have to do them again. really...it's mentally draining.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

my sked is choking me...

i thought i could handle both work and school at the same time with ease and grace. but i was wrong. my sked is choking me to death. non stop commuting to and fro. it must have been easier if i got a car here. fare has gone up. the pollution is at its peak. my asthma keeps on bugging me. i don't get that much sleep like i used to. the tuition is sky high. my pockets are drained. and so is my mind.

with the full load i took (read this: 24 units), i am in deep trouble. i know. but what else i can do. swim as they say. i wonder also how could i manage to attend to my community nursing duty every wednesday from 7-12 AM when i have work during these times. swim baby swim. one more thing, i wonder also where i could raise the money for the prelim exams. whew...im thinking about lots of things. but i swear to God if i could just survive this semester, perhaps i could roll over til the next three remaining semesters and im off from here. off from the shadows of aju. fuck aju...now i know i havent gotten over it yet.

let's change topic. i dont wanna ruin this night anymore. outside, the rain falls hard and the street outside is flooded again. good thing i was able to go home earlier tonight. tomorrow, i thank the Lord we wont have a class in health care 2. at least i could have a rest day since all my days are occupied from 8 til 5 in the office and 6 to 9 at school every day during weekdays and whole days of saturdays and sundays. what a terrible sked. i wont have time to go to the gym anymore nor would i be able to watch movies at all. worse, i could not have a love life with this kind of sked. but im willing to accept trade offs. whatever the cost, il gladly accept.

yesterday, i slept at albie's place with gina and mel. as usual, gina is still broken hearted. well, what else is new with her anyway :):):) we downed two emperador (gee, i wish i could swallow them without having to grip the chair im into) and wandered off to wonderland afterwards. gina and mel were still looking for some more but there were no available drinks anymore. good thing. i had to go at 6 am though because of my 7 am class. i arrived at the school at 8. late as usual. but the teacher wasnt there yet. so im not that late.

today, we had a demo for the NPI (that's nurse=patient interaction). got a grade of 95 though. my partner (rose) was swelling up to the bones laughing her hearts out during my interview with her. i dunno, i might be a joker in my other life. here's what transpired during my interview with her.

me (im the nurse and as protocol, i have to greet the patient, introduce my self and tell the purpose of the interview) : hi, rose, kumusta? kumain ka na ba? bat ang putla mo? di ka ba ang lilipstick?
rose: laughing so hard she couldnt talk anymore.
me : o bat ka tawa ng tawa? di ba sabi ni mam ma establish na at ease ang patient sa nurse? kaw talaga
rose: oo na. kumain na ko. pakbet nga ulam ko eh.
after telling her the purpose of the interview, i proceeded to the usual thing a nurse would normally ask.
me: ano po nararamdaman nyo ngayon?
rose: masakit po ang aking mata?
me: masakit ba o malabo?
rose: malabo pala (laughing again)
me: siguro di ka kumakain ng margarine?
rose: laughing again....kumain naman noon.
me: baka isang tabo lang. dapat isang drum ng margarine dapat...
rose: tawa pa rin
and so on and so forth...

when it was her turn to interview me, she could not contain herself and was still laughing. but anyway, we were able to go through the exercise. therapeutic din sya. ewan ko nag enjoy ako.

so much for now. my barkada would be coming over in a few minutes to down some more pulang kabayo.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

back to normal..or so i thought.

days have passed. approximately a week after that tragic thing happened to me. can i say that everything is back to normal now? or i just thought so? i really dunno. time will tell.

things seem to fall in the right place though. am i just being rewarded by God for having suffered that much lately? or it's just me thinking that things are turning out right. my last post here was horrible. it was written with so much emotion and candor. with a lot of hatred and angst and so much more. looking back, i was way too emotional i guess. for crying too much and having to internalize it way beyond recognition what is to be done. but again, when you are at the zenith of your emotions you don't really know the demarcation line between what is right and what is wrong.

what has that become of me though? well i guess it taught me a lesson. it humbled my way too flashy ego and made me realize that we all commit mistakes. human as we are, perfection could never be attainable.

it's all water under the bridge now. as i've said, time will tell if where all this things will lead me into. whatever is in store for me, i know God has something better for me. and id gladly embrace it if that time comes.

back to my schooling, classes started last June 13 i think. that was tuesday because it was holiday on the 12th since it was independence day. everyday though is a school day for me even until weekends. my class starts at 6 every night and ends at 9. tired and consumed always, i see to it that i am alert inside the class. weekends, my class starts at 7 until 9 in the evening. that's lecture and more of it and laboratory. curacha according to mich for like having no rest at all. well, it works on my favor. with these il lose some more pounds and hopefully achieve my ideal weight again. on wednesdays i have a community and hospital duty which of course i have to be absent in the office. duty starts at 7 and ends at 12 which means i could come in during the afternoon pa rin. not that bad. i still get to keep my work. i dunno during my remaining years though if i could still juggle work and school.

i have to go now. i still have to make my assignment in anatomy and physiology class. plant and animal cell anyone? duh, it looks like im going back to high school....

Sunday, June 19, 2005

mahirap mabuhay...

masikip ang aking dibdib. kagabi pa. dala ng aking sakit (hika at ubo na mejo matagal na). hindi ko alam kung ang sakit na eto ay dulot ng aking problema o dala ng ubo na may konting plema. basta ang alam ko masikip dibdib ko. ilang araw na rin eto. pero palagay ko dahil sa problema na aking dinaranas ngayon na binigay ni adan.

eto ang kwento. siyet sasakit na naman dibdib ko nito. pag ako'y inatake dito alam nyo na kung sino sisisihin.

miyerkules. tama nong miyerkules nga. umaga pa lang mainit na ulo ni aju. tinawag ako at may mga pinalitan sya sa imbestigasyon ko sa royal tern at tsarina grand villas sa gentri. di ako umiimik non. sabi ko sa sarili ko okay lang kse boss ko sya. palaging tama di ba. palitan ko daw report ko. in short, iimprove ko daw at ayusin. walang problema sa akin yun. ang sa akin lang naman wag palitan ang nilalaman ng aking report. putsa, eh palitan ba naman ang ibang nakasulat dun sa mga findings ko. wag daw isali ang mga nakita ko na hindi naman naka saad dun sa reklamo ng royal tern. ewan ko di ko maintindihan talaga. palibhasa bobo...pero okay pa rin ako. kinuha ko na lang report ko at sabi ko susundin ginawa nya.

pagdating ng hapon mainit pa rin ulo. bulong ko nga kay bobby na katabi ko sa mesa, baka may sumpong o di kaya may regla si adan at kung ano ano ang pinagsasabi. pinapabayaan ko lang. tutal di naman ako inaabala sa trabaho ko. pagdating ng alas tres, may technical conference na sya daw ang mag preside kse ala si mam eloi at mam siony. eh ang siste nawawala ang mga documents. ang pinag initan eh ako. aba eh malay ko ba kung san ang mga dokomentong yun basta lumabas na sa akin ang mga for action di ko na alam. ang alam ko ako ang gumagawa lang ng mga sulat at mga imbitasyon. pinahanap sa kung san san at di nga makita. kaya ayun nagalit na naman...hinampas ang papel sa mesa nya sa tapat ng taga munisipyo ng rodrigues, rizal ata yun na isa sa mga naimbitahan. kaya ayun pinagalitan ako. etong si mommy geline di rin makita. sa opisina ni rd wala din dun. kulang na lang sabihin ko sa kanya di ako ang nagtatago ng files. eh sa galit nga at tsaka boss is always right di ba. tahimik ako sa tabi. malungkot. di alam gagawin. sabi ni gel skin bigyan ako ng juice. sabi ko yosi na lang. putsang buhay to nasasangkot ako sa problema na di ko alam. o hindi nya lang mapagalitan si mommy gel kaya ako ang pinapagalitan. pero okay lang sa akin yun tsong. kahit ako'y kinukulang sa hininga at masakit na sa dibdib ko tinaggap ko yun. boss eh, always right. putang ina....

pero hindi un problema ko. nong umaga ibinalik nya sa akin ang project ni kalbo na memorial park (paborito nya na idelay na project kse ka away nya). nakalagay sa marginal note mag explain daw ako bakit nadelay ang project. eh nong june 7 pa sa kanya tapos june 15 nya ibinalik sakin. kanino nagtagal? di ba sa kanya? eh naghahanap lang un lagi ng lusot. pero di pa rin ako sumagot. sabi pa nya ala pang pirma si aldrich. kaya ayun, pinirmahan ko ang kay aldrich tsaka diniretso na kay madam siony kse may pirma naman sya dun sa iba.

pero eto ang siste. nakita nya na may pirma si aldrich. nagalit na naman sa akin. mabuti na lang naka alis na ako ng mga alas kwatro. umalis na talaga ako kse di ko na kaya pagalitan pa ulit. hinanap ako. mabuti nagsabi ako kay gel na punta na akong skol. pero di ako pumuntang skol non. sa sama ng loob ko yinaya ko si gina sa tokdo para uminom. oo. alas 4 ng hapon pumunta kami dong dalwa para uminom ng colt. may problema din pala sya kaya naghahanap ng inom. nag yosi kse kami sa likod at sbi nya sakin tara inom na tayo. eh ako pa. masama loob ko the whole day. kaya ayun uminom kami. eh sa wala ako kaya sya gumawa ng memo na pina paexplain ako bat ko daw pinirmahan ang report. okay lang sana sa akin un kung para sa akin lang. eh hindi eh. copy furnished ba naman ang director at admin at si mam siony. san ka pa? putsang buhay to. ang sa akin lang naman ginawa ko un in good faith para di magtagal ang project. ni wla nga akong singkong duling na natatangap dun sa project na un kse hindi na ako ang nag inspection at nag conduct ng public consultation. sa maikling salita, ginawa ko lang ang ecc. putsang buhay to.

masama pa nito, ung hapon na un mismo, binigyan agad ng kopya ang mga naka cc. ang tindi ng galit ni aju talaga ano. pero sana kinausap muna ako. hindi ung memo kaagad. eh pano di alam ang gagawin. bobo kasi. ng gabi ding iyon, humingi ako ng paumanhin kay gel na sabi ko syensya na kasi mejo bad trip lang ako kako kanina kay adan kaya umalis ako ng maaga. yinaya ko pa nga sya sa tokdo pero sabi nya may rush din sya. reply ni mommy, may memo nga raw ako. dahil dun sa pirmahan blues. duh...inom pa. alak pa. mabuti at dumating si rey at milner para makipag inuman dun. enjoy naman ako. masaya kasing kausap si rey. si pangga naman iniwan ni milner. iyakan blues. wala rin akong masabi malaki din problema ko. sbi ko lang maghiwalay na lang sila. nasa katinuan pa naman yata ako non.

ng matapos kami ng inuman, sama talaga loob ko. di ko alam gagawin ko at di ko alam pupuntahan. gusto ko pang uminom. mahigit limang daan binayaran namin don sa tokdo ibig sabihin naka 4 na rounds kami or 20 bottles in all na colt. eh nauna kami ni pangga uminom. ibig sabihin mga 6 na naubos ko. di pa rin ako lasing. dala ng sama ng loob, hika , ubo at putang ina na hindi ko maintindihan. tinext ko mga barkada ko sa JRU. sabi ko may problema ako at kita kami sa total dun ang inuman. total gas station yun malapit sa JRU na pinapasukan ko dati. buti naman at dumating si leo at zander. maasahan talaga mga kaibigan na mga tambay. kakagraduate lang kse kaya mga pasaway. 4 na colt binili ko (ung malalaki ha...jumbo ba tawag non. lasingan mga pre sabi ko may problema lang ako. ang putang ina kong immediate boss. tapos bumili pa ako ng 2 vodka cruiser. inubos ko un. di pa rin ako marindi. putang inang buhay to. sa daming alak na pumasok skin di maalis sa isip ko ang pamimersonal na ginawa ni adan sa akin. sa tabi ng table namin may mga pokpok pa. nakipaglandian pa ako para maalis lang ang problema ko. wala pa rin. napunta na lang kay leo si aj (aj nga pangalan at di pa rin ako lasing) at dun sa harap naman naglaplapan ba naman. kadiri kse nakita ko dun sa isang table nakipaghalikan din sa isang lalake. eh di parang nakipaghalikan din si leo dun. yuck..etong si zander gusto din pala makipaghalikan kse lasing na rin. mantakin mo apat na colt. mga 1 na ng umaga di pa rin ako nakauwi. di pa ubos ang inom eh. pumunta pa kaming 3 dun sa isang barkada namin para mambulabog. eh tulog na. kaya umuwi na lang kami. ang 2 sumama pa sa akin sa bahay. pagdating ng bahay inuman ulit. bumili pa ako ng 3 pulang kabayo. todo na to mga pre. tutal masama loob ko. mamamatay na kung mamatay. siguro mga 4.30 na ako nakatulog. sa liit ng bahay ko dun sa sala natulog ang dalawa kung san nakalagay mga computers. ako sa loob na lang.

dapat di na ako nakagising. magpapasalamat sana si adan kse akoy na tsugi na. eh hindi eh. ang aga kong nagising. 6 pa lang gising na ako. pag cr ko puro suka ang laman. putsa. ang baho. si zander pala suka ng suka. pero di ako sumuka. pag problemado pala ako kahit isang drum inumin koung alak still standing pa rin. pumasok pa rin akong office.

etong si aju tinawagan na pala si mam siony para i brief at nag usap pa sila pag dating ni madam. kaya alam ko galit din si madam sa akin. tahimik lang ako na gumagawa ng trabaho ko. kumukuha ng tyempo para umeksena kay madam. ng makausap ko si madam okay naman sya. mahinahon at tinulungan ako. un nga lang sabi sa akin baka di na sya magtitiwala. naiintindihan ko un. sinabi nya sa akin na humingi na lang ng paumanhin. ginawa ko. di sa personal ha. sa memorandum din. syempre cc din si rd at ang admin.

pagkahapon, pinatawag na ako ni rd. alam ko kakampihan ako pero syempre may konting sermon na dapat di ko ginawa yun. nadamay ko pa nga si aldrich sa usapang eto. kakahiya man kay aldrich ala akong magawa. babawi na lang ako sa kanya. una akong tinawag sa loob. pagpasok ko andun na pala si aldrich, sir bob sheen at tita odette. sinabi ko lang na sana kinausap nya muna ako bago ako binigyan ng memo. un lang sinabi ko. pero di ako umiyak. mahinahon lang ako. mahinahon din kse si rd at mabait pati si sir bob. tapos sabi ni rd at sir bob, napakaliit na bagay pinapalaki daw nya.

ng tinawag si adan, pagpasok nya namumula din ang alang hiya. kala siguro susuportahan sya. eh hindi. ng mag explain nagsinungaling pa. sabi daw binalik ni mam siony ang documents sa kanya. eh that time wala si madam siony. sinungaling talga. pero ala akong kibo. silent night kung baga. putang ina mo sa isip isip ko. may oras ka din na hayop ka. ayun pinagsabihan pa sya ni sir bob at rd. maliit lang na bagay dapat pag usapan at sana di na raw gumawa ng memo. ang siste ng tanga, tatango tango din. oo sir oo sir ang drama. putang ina mo....ng palabas na kami may sinabi pa si rd sa kanya. narinig ko eh, sabi, adan kill the memo, wag ng palakihin yan....pumalakpak tenga ko. buti nga sayo tang na mo. eto pa bago ako lumabas tinanong kung magkano sweldo ko at sinabi ni rd na dadagdagan daw ako ng 1,000 kami ni aldrich. di ba gud news yun? 12,600 sweldo ko nito aside sa travel at honorarium. wa epek memo ni adan. sabi pa ni rd kay tita oddette idagdag daw ako sa editorial board. nabasa nya kse ang madamdamin kung reply kay adan. baka nadala. wa epek ang memo. pag labas ko ngiti na lang ako.

pero ganon pa rin. sa tingin ko nagsumbong si adan kay mam siony kung anong pinag usapan sa loob. kaya feeling ko mainit pa rin ulo ni mam siony sa akin. pero just the same, i have to accept the consequences of my wrong act. pero promise, pinirmahan ko lang un para mapabilis ang ang pagtakbo ng documents kse malapit na deadline. ika nga done in good faith. kse kmi naman nila albie, lora at jenny dati (sa central na sya ngayon), pinipirmahan namin ang bawat isa kung ala sila dun. mutual understanding ba. ako pumipirma din sa signature ni lora sa mga pass outslip at DTR. ung tipong pirma ng kaibigan na alam mo yun di magagalit kse kailangan pirmahan. siguro naiintindihan naman to ng mga magkakaibigan. si adan lang talaga ang di nakakaintindi palibhasa alang kaibigan ang bobo. ung tipong alang halong pagkukunwari at deception na pirma kse alam mo kailangan. pero kse nga iba iba tayo. sa amin nila albie okay lang talaga un....alam ko kahit kela shine at gina okay lang yun kse nga kailangan. di naman un tseke na pipirmahan mo kse kelangan mo ang pera. ibang usapan un.

pero un nga. tapos na ang kabanatang ganyan sa buhay ko. wala na akong magawa. kung mainit man si mam siony at adan sa akin nito. tatangapin ko na lang.

papalitan ko na nga pangalan ko sa monday. bukas pala. FORGE na pangalan ko by the way. kse nakalagay sa memo FORGERY. forgery nya ang putang ina nya. sabi ko nga bakit di pa nya binigyan ng kopya ang DENR Secretary para lubos lubosan na. kala mo talaga kung sinong malinis na tao. putang ina. parang di ko alam ang pinagagawa nya. mabait pa rin ako. kse nong magkausap kmi dun sa room ni rd hindi ko man lang sinnabi na pinapagawa ako ng inspection report at ako pa ang pumipirma. dalawang beses pa yun. pero may narinig ba sya sa akin? putang ina nya. wala. wala. saan ang mas masahol don. sa pagpirma ko sa kay albie na may pahintulot nya o sa pagpagawa ng inspection report sa akin? eh wala akong magagawa eh...

yun na nga, FORGE na nga pangalan ko. kaso ko kasi dati unexplained wealth. ngayon forgery na. good luck sa akin. at sa mga nakabasa nito, ginawa ko lang to para sa sarili ko para gumaan ang masikip kung dibdib. para man lang maibsan ang hirap na dinaranas ko ngayon. bukas, lunes di ko alam ang gagawin ko sa opisina. bahala na.

ang gumagalang,

FORGE (o di ba maganda naman pakinggan?)

Monday, June 13, 2005

siyet...my last blog did not register...

after a lot of attempts to recover my blog yesterday, i was so disapointed i could never find them at all. it was very important though. i gathered all my courage to publish it here after a long time. but of all entries i have, it was the one that was lost. i pretty know that i saw the 100% published that's why i checked it right away. but it was not really there....

and im not writing it again. it was rather long and full of candor and emotions since i thought about it for a long time. but just as it is...wla akong magagawa...

Saturday, June 11, 2005

no work...while away.

it's weekend.

finally, i was able to enrol yesterday. the fee was skyhigh at almost 30 thousand but i bit the offer (offer? not really but i don't have that much choice. in fact it's the only choice i have as of the moment). it took me the whole morning to fix every thing. from the evaluation of grades, to assessment, payment including IDs and library card as well as in the tailoring for my whites. it stretched up until 2 in the afternoon though because i have to wait for another 30 minutes for my pictures. and so i was late in the dancing competition at the central office.

i got there past 2 perhaps i missed the presentation of my friends. i was able to watch some others though at the back portion. some of the presentations especially that of ERDB was way too puffy and cheesy for an audience who has not been into culture and the arts lately but admittedly, i was entertained. and so they went home with the bacon. as for my friends who did their best, they came home nothing. sad and rather disappointed, i am still rooting for them for the effort they gave in for the presentation. to shine, gina, lora, tere, albie, poroy, rey, milner, dj and the rest...congratulations...alak na lang tayo...hehehe..mas praktisado kayo dyan. kidding aside, let's join a boxing competition next time and not a dance presentation...ahahahah...but hey, credit goes to rey and milner for taking the dance floor like a pro. hats off...hey rey, could you send me some footages or pix so that i may post it here?

we ate our lunch. a very late lunch at almost 5 at the globe booth (yep, a lot of booths were there from the industries as well as for the offices who participated) courtesy of mcdo. some isaw and pork barbecue completed the menu. of course there's the perrenial suka since i was with the pasaway group. shine introduced her new fling (err...i dunno) diego and was too comfortable with the group which is good because there would be no hard time at all to get acquainted with each other.

after the announcement of winners julie and i headed home together with the others with fallen expecatations. i took the fx from the central office up until here cos i was feeling kinda asthmatic again. smoke gets through me lately like it's just a bomb about to explode. i downed an entire mineral water during the duration of the trip which almost took me an hour and a half. went i got home, i was feeling a lil better.

but there's another session waiting. actually, i usually call it a prayer meeting so that when julie, would ask, she would not get mad to me....err...just for fun...


and so today i have nothing to do at all.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

office woes...and some others...

the atmosphere in the office is so disgusting/disappointing today. well, i just hope it ended today. you see sir adan is always a pain in the ass. he's a dork that doesnt think at all that his subordinate are only humans and could be at any moment feel tire and drained. i hate this feeling that everytime he calls me, there is always resentment why i am under his wings. if only looks and suppresed emotions could kill the cat, he's a dead meat several times.

whew...i could not handle his style anymore. i swear that not in this lifetime id be able to work hand in hand with the kind of person he is. i really despise him a lot. gel knows about this since i usually talk things over to her and my agonies in the office. although im good at putting a facade they don't actually know im mad at a certain person, there is an end to this i guess. i just hope that one of this days i wont flare up in front of many people. i just hope...but i could not promise.

asthma attacks have been doing the rounds lately. occasional seizures in my chest (chest pains) sometimes hampers my work but all in all it's the asthma attacks that has been bothering me lately. added to the fact that the legal section has been repainted has worsen the situation. although the paint smell was on its peak yesterday and today it has mellowed down, the fact is there is still the smell. right now, i feel short of breath. not right now but actually most of the time.

i wasnt able to enroll yet in nursing school. i dunno wat will happen to me. im at a loss actually. im confused with everything. with studies, with work, with personal life and everything.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

rainy days are here again...

tomorrow will be opening of classes. expect a tremendous traffic that will eat up the whole of metro manila even in the outskirt provinces. and tonight, just tonight, heavy rain came pouring down the road outside the house is flooded again. school is indeed here. rains, traffic congestion, and a whole lot more seemed to be in the air.

tomorrow, il try my best to beat the traffic. i swear il wake up as early as 6 o'clock so that il be in the office by 7. although i am considering if i change my office hours from 8 to 5 instead of the 7 to 4 i had the admin listed for me, im having second thoughts because i might be able to enroll still either in pchs or in de ocampo.

i dont feel like writing at all...bye for now.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

sick but was able to drink...

yeah, i'm sick. but last night i had three bottles of light beer. and im feeling better today. which gets me into thinking that i should drink lotsa beer so that id feel a whole lot better. although i missed the tree planting today (i cant wake up as early as 5 this morning which is the assembly time in the office), it would be better because i would have a chance to rest for the rest of the weekend.

practice for the dance presentation will take place at RD's residence the whole weekend. which means i would not be able to join the group. it's fine with me though. at least i'l have an excuse for in the first place i didnt want to join naman talaga. good way out dude....

so much for now...i gotta go to school first to fix my transcript...

Friday, June 03, 2005

sick after a long time...

yeah, im sick today. which explains i am able to update my blog because im not in the office today (you see, our connection was disconnected). i have a fever, flu and cough. i think ill die. i can't understand what im feeling right now. this started when rd tolentino invited us to some sort of drinking spree after our dance practice (im dancing for the environment month presentation on the 10th...thriller by michael jackson). but i dont know if i could join tomorrow's practice with what i am into right now. back to what i was talking, RD Tolentino invited us at Fely's and Manukan and i went home at 2 in the morning. i wasnt feeling well the following day but i have to go to the office cos i have an investigation in cainta, rizal. and so feeling sick and all, cainta here i come. jay's airconditioning unit in the car was horrible. it's better to open the window. but then pollution was so taxing on my heart i had to choose the former. with airconditioning on, i was all sweat. i even removed my shirt but it didnt help at all. after cainta, i was off again to imus, cavite with the same van of jay (whew...) this time to coordinate with the mayor for tomorrow's tree planting. i was so tired. really. but i could not just say no because i was in charge of the tree planting activity. and so here i am. sick and all due to fatigue and lack of sleep. there's the work in the office, the coordination with the visitors for the activity, the investigation i have to conduct, my friends i have to give time also, and the dance practice. ...speak of busy lines...

lately, it has been mine and julie's habit to go home at the same time. it has been routinary though that sometimes i hope that we could do some other things aside from eat together or just go home together. although it works on my advantage most of the time because i could refuse the drinking session with the others. well, maybe there's a purpose in everything.

tomorrow will be the tree planting activity in imus where i coordinated everything and with the help of gina. i cant be there though because im sick but i just hope that everything would turn out just fine and smoothly. i pray to God there would be no hassle at all.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

of being kalbo. again...

the line for my fx ride home after putting julie on her ride home also was way too long. right beside the fx terminal is carlo reyes salon. since it's way past 7 pm, there were no more messy sights of customers inside the salon. thinking about the promise i made for my male friends in the office to have my hair cut skin head (theirs have been shaved the day before me), i dediced to pass the time by having my hair shaved also. when i went inside and told them i want to have my head shaved, they asked me whether i want it 1 or 2 (i really didnt know for a hair to be shaved it has to have numbers). i just told them i dont want a skin head. at least save some for the conditioner (stupid of me i was thinking about shampoo during shopping and didnt look at the labels) that i bought a week ago. and so it was 1.

after shaving, showering (yes, they made me lie down on the shower chair and it felt good. really) and of course some amateur massage from the gay barber, i was clean looking. or is it really clean looking huh? truth to the matter is, after assessing my looks, i looked like more of an ex convict who just got of of prison (well a little bit tamed). and then suddenly at another angle i looked like some kind of a goon. was my decision to have my head shaved right? i guess not. but what else can i do? i could not reconnect all those fallen hair. also, my bulge at my nape is showing i looks like i have an abcess (think about being mataba lately...). but the bottom line, i felt lighter and there'd be no more expenses for gel :). and the fact that i was able to keep my promise to my office mates. now a bunch of us are kalbo in the office. come this monday, EIA Division will have a series of kalbo employees sitting on our tables. what a sight to behold.

environment month will be kicking of this june 1st. activity assigned to me and gina is to coordinate the tree planting project in imus, cavite. i already made the proposal last night including all the necessary documents needed. this monday, we'll be going to imus to talk with the mayor and finalize things.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

drunk but not dreary...

certainly not dreary.

i sometimes associate rains to dreariness. it has been the child habit in me that i would be feeling sad during rainy days. thank God it has not rain for quite some time now. but the blistering sun spewed its curse almost everyday. just this sunday, it tipped the measurement at 39.2 degree centigrade. a record after four years according to pag-asa. even inside the office where the airconditioning is functioning at its peak, the heat is just undeniable. my nights have been an agony. the eletric fan could not even help a little. im sweating it out until the morning. i wish i have some extra bucks to buy an aircon.

Monday, May 16, 2005

one more...


this particular one have been memorized already. i usually sing this when i'm with my friends from JRU (xander, dierlyn, leo and nad). xan knows how to play the guitar as well as leo that's why i had it in my head after several try's. i usually go there during weekend and spend the night there since drinking session always end at the wee hours of the morning (man, the tindera might ran out of alak kung mag iinuman ang mga to). when im there at dierlyn's place, expect that the following day, im still not my usual self and that during the previous night ive been throwing up to death due to so much alcohol in my stomach. nevertheless, i enjoy their company.

here's the song...
Sige, pag kasama ka naman,
Kitang-kita ko ang ating kasiyahan
Sige, wag na nating pigilan
At di magtatagal, tayo ay liligaya
Okey lang naman ang ating usapan
Hindi na lang babalikan ang nakaraanAng nakaraan
Ayos lang, basta't kasama
Konting alak lang, Kahit walang pulutan
Ang minsan, naaalala
Di magtatagal, tayo ay liligaya
Sige, pagpatuloy niyo lang
Unti-unting lunurin sa kasiyahan
Sige, pagpasensiyahan na lang
Mga pumipigil sa ating ligaya
Okey lang naman ang ating usapan
Hindi na lang babalikan ang nakaraan
Ang nakaraan Ayos lang, basta't kasama
Konting alak lang, Kahit walang pulutan
Ang minsan, naaalala
Di magtatagal, tayo ay liligaya

song to memorize...


this is the song im trying to memorize lately. there is nothing in particular about the lyrics that makes me sing but i just like hearing it over and over again. it's by 3 doors down entitled here without you. c'mon stretch out those tarnishing vocal cords...

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face

A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Sunday, May 15, 2005

back to normal...

it seemed.

i probably miscalculated the slack time between the transition of our new director from the old one. i was expecting that it would came at the end of the quarter. but events sometimes surprises us without our knowing it. and so this tuesday, jubilation will be painted on the faces of my officemates...i would not elaborate some more since this manuscript will be read by a lot of people and some allied forces might go over this.

im back. this time im in the office and trying to contain myself i have a searing stomach pain. i dunno. i just had some paksiw na tilapia for lunch and laing. talk of nainibago sa pagkain kse i havent eaten my breakfast this morning.

last night, two ladies came by our internet shop to open their mails. one was way too pretty and charming she even asked me what is our closing time. so inspired as i am, i told her they could just come by anytime and stay until they want to. guess what im feeling? im looking foreward to their next visit. i hope tonight they'll come back. :):):)

a lot of paper work is to be done. but i can't finalize all of it yet since the turning over of the ew reponsibility of the new RD will still be tomorrow. i just hope that with the new administration, everything will just run smoothly. i just hope...

yesterday was the end of the 3-day sale at rob manila. i was planning to buy a new pair of shoes but i don't have much time to look for the one i like. julie and i after eating at marina passed by some shoe stores but the impulse to buy has not set in yet. maybe this coming weekend il go back and look for the shoes that will fit me right.

i could not bear the pain anymore. bye for now il visit the john first...prrrrtttttttttt.....:):):)

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

sun burnt but happy

summer time beckons. it's the time of the year we always feel the itch to while away and have some time for ourself.

this time, boracay it is. trite as it may that i am a resident of aklan, i could never get enough of the island everytime i pay my yearly visit. the island has a lot more to offer from what you have experienced during your previous visits. is it because of the people? the party goers, the beach bummers and combers? the plain watchers? the endless choices for cheap finds for pasalubong? the oozing night life? maybe the food? or is it because of the beach itself? i dunno.

what?

time and again, i am never a swimming lover (with exclusivity to beaches only since it makes me darker all the more. which means save for the indoor pools with covered ceiling). but boracay is entirely a different story.

now, you can figger out how i look after three straight days of swimming under the scorching sun yet cool and salty waters of the island.

may 2 proved to be a significant day for me. not to mention the day before that (well, it's a labor's day among other things and some things i'm saving for myself people will never know). i went with NEDA group in their company outing. gina (my office mate) went with me. we departed in manila at around 4 in the afternoon on board a van to batangas city pier where another motor vessel will be taking us to another island of calapan, mindoro ( you got it, we took the roro route). the van trip was exhilirating the airconditioner (or should i say the blower) was not functioning well. think about sweating out inside a closed van. it took us almost 2 hours. finally, the port of batangas came in sight. an international port in the making where a lot of reclamation are taking place. the ship we boarded was not that big just enough for 10 to 15 cars and for the passengers upstairs to sit and never lie on your back. the airconditioning unit wasnt working well too... a little to hot inside. we decided to head for the rooftop where you could see the islands. since its approaching sunset, the sun was at its magnificent place. the islands too were great as a backdrop we had some pictures taken during the trip. when dark set in, our alcoholic instinct told us to look for some beers. and so gina and i had one can each of san mig super dry at the rooftop while savoring the strong wind of the northern sky...

time to get off and head for the van again. this time bound for roxas, mindoro where another boat will take us to the island. the trip was exhausting again. really.

the ship bound for caticlan was a whole lot better. our accomodation was VIP room. and so i was able to stretch my back from the long journey. i dont need alcohol this time to bring me to wonderland. the fatigue was more than enough to lull me to sleep the minute my back touch the carpeted floor. i woke up feeling cold the aircon was in full blast. i had to spread my convertible pillow to cover my damp sole....

the morning cold woke me up. the not so transparent window is a witness that it's already morning and we're passing by the famous carabao island. it's the island before reaching the island of boracay. i was not able to see the shoreline though of romblon along the way. romblon province is also famous for its wonderful beaches. during my last trip there passing through the same strip of the ocean i guess, i was able to spot some dolphin jumping out of the water. not this time. but then i waited for some moments to pass by but there was really none.

anyway, while approaching the jetty port of caticlan, the island regales with its majestic white sand beaches from afar. i have noticed though that the shoreline facing the main island has been dotted with several infrastructure already compared to my trip late of last year. facing right through the main island is an expansion project of lorenzo villas. built right at the foot of the rocky mountain, the owner has constructed a concrete stairway so that you could go straight to the water. in fact you could use it as a diving board (if you're that resourceful)...other structures that could be seen i forgot the names but they are just as equally a sight to behold also.

pictures here and there. camera shutters are all at a buzz starting from the jetty port. our companions are just as excited as we are. another 20 minutes more of ferry ride and were finally there...

the moment my foot touched the oh so cool sand and clear waters, i felt exhilirated and at home. i could have kissed the sand and water if not for the ecoli and BOD and coliform in my mind. but i felt like home. that's the point.

well then, here's my observations during my three day stay in the island....

1. The Ultimate Boracay Fashion - people there dresses just differently. they have this unique style native only of boracay. two piece for the ladies are in with a sarong wrapped around their waste. You should have a henna tattoo for you to be able to relate. YOu're hair must be braided for you to be in. anklet, bracelet, necklace and earings in full color shouting coordination and a bag. And you must be dripping wet while walking along the shops. you must have the smell of a sunblock and not to mention the shades that completes the entire package. For men, trunks are out. surfboard shorts are definitely in without the shirt. of course, you still have that locally made necklace,, anklet, bracelet, the matching shade to hide away your eyes from so that you could watch the chicks in bikinis come hell or high waters. and oh well, of course the henna tattoo and the braided hair. yeah, for men, it's in. if you're a group, you could play rugby along the beach and pretend you're one of the rich men from the metropolis or a balikbayan from the north pole.

mind you, my entire stay there (im talking of almost all the time) was spent looking at the sexy people moving around in bikinis...but of course hidden under my tinted shades.

2. The Ultimate Getaway - boracay has a lot of things to offer for recreation. there's jet ski, scuba, para sail, banana ride, fly fish (i wish i could ride one day), island hopping, snorkel, boating, shopping, walking, celebrity watching, etc...the list goes on and on....

of the above, i was able to snorkel and island hop to crystal cove. first stop was going over the island just at the back to have pictures taken in the caves and some make believe ornate and old structures. we were in a hurry though since we only have 3 hours for snorkel and island hop. and so after some picture taking, we went straight to the snorkeling area. it was rather wavy but the sight underwater was really great. the fishes and the corals were all but colorful.

3. The Ultimate Gimmick Haven - boracay transforms itself into a gimmick mecca the moment the sun sets in. bars and kiosk and tables and chairs in all colors and shapes all come to life. the beach line is suddenly a sight to behold with the lights and the enticing food and drinks displayed on the shelf. any cuisine, you'll find it there. from timbuktu down to nauru island somewhere down under.

we spend the night at pier one during our first night. second night was at hey jude. the famous strip along d'mall. i had some lights and a sip of the frozen margarita bing2 had. sitting right next to my table were the crew of studio 23 with luis manzano (the vj).

4. The Ultimate Shopping Experience - name it, they have it in the island. great finds of course could be found in d'mall. though previously i use to shop in the now turned to ashes talipapa (i heard though that the businessmen there are slowly picking up the pieces). you could haggle for the pasalubongs at a bargain price. i think all the pasalubongs area there na. it's a one stop complete one stop shop.

5. The Ultimate Food Haven - now i could grin in envy at the food. as ive said, the food around the world just converge in the island. though a lot expensive, you could find some cheaper food store at the back portion of the island if your that spendthrift and dont want to taste the great cuisine the island has to offer. just like me, i was able to have a complete meal for only 29 bucks. that means one rice and one viand only. a swig of water will do the rest of the afternoon.

6. The Ultimate Sunset - yeah, what else is there than the best sunset in the whole wide world.

life is short. might as well enjoy the perks of it while we may still can...

honestly, im looking forward to another bora trip...bora...bora...bora

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

rising with the tides...

reaching past anonymity and being able to surpass your expectation of yourself and the people around seems to be a task unattainable.

we see people around lurked in frustration but cloaked under a whiny smile, a sunny disposition and jolly aura. facade could be deceiving. the masks we wear is the mirror of how we deal with life. we take it as if everyhting could be hidden from the truth. that what is really inside will not spew out. time and time again, as it is with the previous ones who were before us, the real us will come out. never underestimate the power of nature taking its own natural course.

reverence for others, respect for opinions of people and acceptance are sometimes misconstrued as contempt by others. while it may be wise to say that to each his own, trite as it may, still we are pained by what people say. worst, we tend to wallow in self pity and hibernate with the negative thoughts thrown out way. but look at it the other way. since the coin has the head and tail, we may as well see other side of life. granting then that you were punished by a painful experience on the other side, don't despair. the other side may offer a better option. a lot of things are in store for those who are meek, those who are weary, those who are underdogs and those who are withdrawn. see, a lot of stuff are worth venturing for.

speak of comfort zones...no. not this time.

i still had a deja vu of the three candles that i lighted in baclaran church.


Monday, April 25, 2005

of candles and abodes...

it's been quite a while. my last blog was exactly a month ago. speak of busy schedules and lousy time management. lately, i've been procastinating. it seemed that i was not working well within my capabilities. what i'm saying is i could do a lot more. it's just that ive been drained perhaps or is the system of being too lenient and passive with the things i have to do have swallowed up the entire me. bottom line, it's time to change...

speaking of changes, i think i've changed too.


last friday, we were up to a tripping (for a real estate broker, the jargon means looking over prospective houses up for grabs) somewhere in cavite. the meeting place was mcdo baclaran at 8.30. pinoy as we are, what else is new but for people to be late. worst, poroy did not showed up. but anyway, i was there as early as 7.30. i decided to spend the remaining time wandering around the vicinities of baclaran to buy some goodies. i had great finds though...some pasalubong for lola tansing for her 87th birthday (a pair of pearl earrings, necklace and ring) for onlyf 70 bucks. great find huh! and some fake pearl bracelets for my cousins and my aunts for only 10 bucks (too spendthrift of me. but what the heck, it's the thought that counts right). then i bought something for myself. a black cap for my black emb give away sling bag (hahaha). after sweating it out on the morning baclaran sun, it's time to heed for the church (by the way, it's my first time to go there) which was my original plan why i went there ahead of schedule.

the church was some 100 meters away from the road. i expected a church with an imposing facade but baclaran church was not. it was just the normal and very ordinary frontage a common church i'd find back home. in fact, some churches in the towns of iloilo are far more classy looking. anyway, it's the popularity of the church that drawn me in. coming inside, i felt a daze of melancholy and loneliness ( at that point, i wish i had someone beside me :):)) i went straight to the 13th pew (this is just an estimate...but look at the number i chose...) and did my thing. i prayed a lot of things. from the ingroin of my left foot to the split ends of my hair. no, just kidding. seriously, i kept my eyes close during the entire prayer. felicitations, petitions and lots of it, penance, thank you's and lots of it also ( i had a lot of things to thank for) . most of all, i was able to say the things i just want to say. speak of talking to someone just beside you and you'll figger out what i did inside the church. after which, i stood up and went out. at the left portion, i found a room (bigger room actually) where people light candles. i figure out that this must be the place where you light a candle and say a prayer. since it would be my first again, i went inside, grabbed three pieces of candles and lighted each one. why three? it represents three important things actually that is happening to me lately. first candle was for my love life for the Lord to help me out and guide me the right way. that simple. then i lighted another one for my family and friends for their protection and success as well as guidance in everything they do. then the last candle i lighted was for my career. i wished to the Lord that i could finish my nursing school and for whatever he has plans for me....

feeling satisfied, i alighted from the church compound fulfilled and feeling renewed. now, did i ask for forgiveness for the sins i did lately? i think not. and so that night before hitting the bed, i said another prayer.
the trip was enjoyable. gel, bob, gina and milner completed the group. we fetched alvin in sm bacoor since we are supposed to eat our lunch in their house. first stop was golden villas. model houses were already constructed. not bad although i find it smaller from what i've envisioned. but the place is nearer from manila as compared to the one we visited next which was tahanang yaman. there, the houses are much smaller and seems to be houses for the marginalized sector (well, count me in since i'll be availing one in the next months)...it's time now to fix my Pag-ibig account...


after the tripping, the road led to the house of alvin in anabu, imus, cavite. there we had a sumptuous lunch (adobo, laing, sweetened cucumber in vinegar and fried red meat fish). after eating, we talked for some 1 hour in the dining table since there is no room for us to stretch our full stomach.

since we went back home early, i passed by the school to follow up the status of my transcript. i was supposed to talk with the registrar and sort things out regarding the remarks in the transcript coming from my previous school. good thing, the assistant was all too kind that time and she opted that i just have to change my transcript. i was thankful all the more. after school, i still have my sling black bag with me, i went straight to the gym to sweat out. i spent more than an hour and went home tired but feeling bulky on the chest (this time i concentrated on my chest exercises and some biceps also).

the night was still young and i was feeling kinda bored at home. i went to my barkada at the back of JRU and had some emperador. we downed some three bottles (that's long neck they call) and i was very sick the following day. i was throwing up the whole day my head was all too painful (talk of not drinking again during times like these..)

but then, the next day was another outing. me and my family circle in indang, cavite. this time, it's a cold spring. i was not able to swim though becuase the gin beckoned to me....(hahaha) and so my night again was full of nightmares...puke here and there...

ahhh...so much about puking....

Friday, March 25, 2005

the road trip that was...

read this: from 18th to 24th of this month, i was on a road trip from manila to bulacan to pampanga to pangasinan to la union and finally to ilocos sur. aptly titled the road trip that was, this blog will chronicle my six day trip.

that's five (5) provinces in a row. our trip to the north (yeah, i am on the red mitsubishi car of albie and lora again) was to attend the wedding of myra (our office mate) in bugallon, pangasinan. friday afternoon, we were all set to go by 6 o'clock. filipino as we are, you wont think we were able to leave the premises of manila not after 11 in the evening. we were 4 hours behind the scheduled time all because of waiting and waiting and forever waiting. well, you probably know what i mean. first, there's jayjay (our driver who picked up the loand car rather late from the Mang Boy). we left the office at 9 in the evening. since miseth (yeah, we christened her Miss Leyte for being always late) cant make it in the office anymore she's still in angono, rizal (imagine the distance and the time we have to wait again), we decided to meet her up in sm north. and so we were there at 10 and had some dinner at mcdo first. finally, miss leyte arrived shortly after 11. and so off we went to pangasinan.

the trip was full of stop over though. rest rooms, food cravings, gassing up, coffee on the roadside tiangge and all. good thing albie's car had good air conditioning unit, from time to time i had the luxury of leaning back comfortably in the backseat and just close my eyes. unlike those who were in the other car which i think had a helluva time in their seats. added to that is we were only four in the car with rolly from records and so it was cool and comfy. the trip nevertheless was enjoyable. we had to keep on talkin and talkin albie might fall asleep. the music on the background provided some relief. lora and i would sing with what the radio has to offer sometimes to our hearts out (think of me belting out some stuff in my crooked voice). save for lora who has a nice and angelic voice by the way. i have to mention the road. yes, the north luzon expressway was just heaven to travel on. i am amazed that roads after all can be this finnese and well for an overstatement so splendidly done. there was never lubak and the travel would just tempt you to doze off to wonderland. but then we cant sleep, there was an agreement..hehehee....

and since we were travelling on the wee hours of the morning, there was not much traffic. all we had were the fresh air coming from the countryside. occasionally though, smell of poultry and piggery houses would come our way but those were negligible. armed with the map given by myra, we were able to locate the place at almost 3:30 in the morning. we almost had all the people in their house waken up due to our naughty and rowdy conversations. look who came with the group and you'll understand why. lemme enumerate them, first on the list is luisa (the rowdiest and the object of joke all the time, tita arlits (the nanay), mam beth, miseth, lyn, aloja, jo (yeah, she came), rolly, lora and albie (my fellow pasaway who were able to join the group. shine, gina and the rest could not make it), jay jay of course. i hope i did not forgot anybody. see, it's a blast. at the wee hours of the morning, we were talking and talking while waiting for the dinner cum breakfast to be served. myra (the bride to be was very hospitable to accomodate the group (if i were her, i mean if it's my big day the following day, i'd be sleeping to wonderland to be good looking the next day) bad thing is im not myra. and so i admired her for taking care of everything for us. the food was superb. steamed fish, fried prawns and some fresh fish in cabbage. i had a good time filling my stomach. dessert was sweetened grounded rice. hmmm...im hungry again.

after eating, we were accompanied by myra's accomodating and hospitable lady relative's (jayjay was elated to be their driver because they sat on the front) to the beach house were we spent the night. it was some 40 minutes drive away from their house. we didnt have much time to talk anymore the moment we arrived in the beach house. tired, consumed and sleepy, we hit the bed right away. it was almost five for chrissakes.

albie had the wrong clock the following morning. he was all eager to wake us up because he said it was almost 8:30 and we would be late in the wedding. it turned out that albie's watch was not functioning well (albie, y'knw wat, it's time to get a new one again. i remember during our last rip to san juan, his watch was lost. i could see a pattern here that in every trip, albie's watch has something to do). anyway, it was 7:30 pa lang on the real clock. and so since we were all ready (well, the five of us, rolly, jayjay, albie, lora and me cos we share the same room) we decided to hit the beach front of lingayen and see what's cooking up there outside. to borrow rolly's word, the beach was magulo (chaotic), the waves were too big it is so impractical and almost imposibble to swim. wind surfers would be delighted to see such big waves. while waiting for the others (waiting time is the by word for the entire trip actually), i bought some boiled peanuts and maja blanca to little girls selling kakanin on the beach.

back to the wedding, we arrived late. yes, the waiting blues is to be blamed again. myra and her husband was at the altar already by the time we arrived. we missed the wedding march. just the same, i went with the group inside to see the couple and decided to go out and find a nice place for me to sleep on. first, i could not figure out what the priest was talking about. the wedding was done in local pangalatok dialect. good thing there was a long bench just beside the barangay hall i was able to strecth out my back ( was able to sleep actually). not far away, i saw albie's car with jayjay sleeping also under the narra tree in the town plaza.

fast forward, wedding done, reception over and everything that has got to do with our main purpose. the road trip again started. first stop was inay's house (that's ate elvie) in lingayen. we were served with sweet mangoes there. after which, we went to julie's house. there i was able to meet her father and her sister and other relatives perhaps they were not introduced to me formally. we enjoyed picking green mangoes from the trees which i should say some of the fruits almost touches the ground. we were also served with halo halo which was a relief since we had a long hot day ahead of us. after which, we hit the road again.

this time, we were bound to manaog (the famous birhen of manaog). it was a long trip again nevertheless i enjoyed watching the countryside again. when we got there, the group went to the church right away. i decided to stay on the car and get some sleep again (hehehe...)

then, we're off to luna, la union. it was another 4 to 5 hour drive from manaog. we arrived at tita arlit's relatives' house at past 7 already. hungry looking as we were, we devoured the food myra gave us from the wedding the moment we got there. imagine, when we were ushered inside the house, we all sat right away in the dining table and prepared the food for our taking. not much of a good guest i guess. but what the heck, we were at home because they were so kind and accomodating also. aside from the food we brought, they served us native tinolang manok. sarap....

our throats (albie, lora and jay2 for that matter) were all eager to have a swig of the wine we bought in san fernando and so we kept on pressing the group to proceed right away to the beach house and start the night.

coral island beach resort was way too flashy from what ive expected. there's the pool, cottages, billiards hall, a bar and some good landscaping you would not expect in a country side resort. not to mention the accomodating owner also who made us felt at home. another pattern here, the people in luna are hospitable also.

we rented the cottage with the videoke machine. and so we all get drunk. well not all actually, miseth, aloja and luisa did not take a single shot of the tres cepas. we sang our hearts out, lora was the star for the night for singing a lot of songs since she's the performer among the group. surprise number from rolly who i did hear sing for the first time (my, the little boy can sing). luisa on the side who kept on drinking our pepsi chaser and eating our pulutan (mangga, bagoong, chucherias, etc). but in fairness, luisa did entertain the group. she hit the mic with her rendition of nanghihinayang (i mean with all choices of songs...) miseth was trying her best too sing also. aloj and lyn? did i hear them sing? i think not. well, there's albie's signature songs and his signature macho dancer moves and of course jayjay's revival of some rap songs (lyn and the rest of us could not contain our laughters because of jayjay's rendition....my it was the worst rap song i did hear). but the most surprising of all, of course it was me who sang a lot of songs ( i normally dont sing but tres cepas must have set the fire and i sang). to my consolation, i got a 100 score which others did not. oh well, im not kidding, i was shouting my lungs out to the aerosmith's popular song i dont wanna miss a thing. at least im trying. so much of that...hehehe...


the following morning, we transferred to another beach where the waves and the shore is not chaotic or magulo. some one kilometer away is a beach resort not as good as coral island but the beach is rather calm since it is located on the estuary of the river. and so they swam. ol of them except me i dnt like swimming at all in beaches. i took a bath in the shower and did some back up rounds again for lora at the very early in the morning in front of the karaoke machine. another concert on the loose starring lora layugan.

tita arlit's relatives came again with a lot of food. great food actually. we had grilled fish, pinakbet, pork mechado (was it? i dunno), fried white meat fish, mussels, sinigang ng hipon and bangus...really it was a feast. it's like we're eating like there's no tomorrow anymore. we reckoned that we will not go back to manila anymore. what with the fun, the food and everything.

but then we had to go home. but not me for the moment. after lunch, we hit the road again. they dropped me off to the highway and they went back to manila while i went north to ate lani's house.

i got there 30 minutes after and was welcomed by mac. after which, i slept due to fatigue and of course lack of sleep and the effect of the alak, ya know. the days that followed were all fun and enjoyment again. i slept a lot, drink, eat a lot and watch tv and movies a lot. jay and his wife jude were so accomodating i felt at home again. another pattern here, i feel that im always at home when i go to some one else's place. or it's just me and my selfish inner self. it was whole package of a vacation actually. come tuesday afternoon chloe and ate lani arrived. we roamed the town for some time. the following morning, i went home. i had to see cel and bel for the review materials for their toefl exam...

and that ends my road trip.

my next trip is scheduled on april 1st but i dunno if could make it. it's entirely different story now that i committed myself to someone. i have to include her in my plans and what she thinks about it. just the same, the bottom line is to enjoy life and what it has to offer.

bye for now.

Monday, March 14, 2005

san juan part II

i was cut short last night because someone used the computer. and so im back. it's almost approaching midnight and my eyes are beginning to get swollen and tired. i had a long days work today. i feel sleepy and my arms are getting numb (the computer table is not just right i think. too high for the too short chair)...anyway, im about to write about the beach wild party part II....

this time, i was with gina and mel, lora and albie and aila and me (see the pairing i did...hmmmm) anyway, the first two pairs went there one night ahead of the last pair (that's aila and me). i had to do a report in my literature class for a penalty of being absent for two straight weeks. i told my teacher that i went home to the province to attend the wake of my late lola (my lola would have taken the road less traveled and spank me for making her dead twice...with apologies). and so i followed the day after. i picked up aila at san juan town because she chose to go there ahead but was not able to go straight to the beach house because it was already dark when she hit the road to san juan.

anyway, what else we did but just enjoy the nights and days there...drink and booze. food and more. bon fire, billiards and the videoke machine. and of course swimming....well, that's what i call life. incomparable...


i really am tired tonight...il just write a long blog next time. i still have lots of things to write actually. for the meantime, il hit the bed....snorrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......


good night..

Sunday, March 13, 2005

way too long to hibernate...

my last blog was last month...too long to hibernate in the networld. not hibernate actually because i do get to open my mails, chat from time to time but havent got the time really to sit down and update my blog.

anyway, so much had happen to me lately. i remember that when i was still doing my manual blog (read: diary, it took me some six months i think to update them especially if something nice and rosy is happening to my life). which means that some good things happened lately. think about gimmicks, out of town vacation, school woes (come to think of it, i do consider them as happenings), love life and sex life on the sides...

first, the barkada (pasaway at that) was able to while away in the beaches of san juan for three straight long days and had a joy ride back home by taking the route to Tagaytay. We had a helluva time in that entire 3 days and 2 nights. the people with us were: shine, gina, tere, lora and good heavens lynette( ....i couldnt hide my enthusiasm during the entire trip). of course there's albie, poroy, irwin and me. all of us loaded in two cars braved the dark nights going to san juan and got there almost past 12. we had to pick up jay at bicutan but he was nowhere to be found that time. the cause of the delay was him actually. i was cursing the whole time at the backseat but those were voiceless (i was kinda feeling seasick and consumed to shout my lungs out). and so kuya rey accommodated us at the dead of the night and served out dinner....(it was a relief to eat after so much waiting and cursing)....dinner served, we hit the beach and the cottage. i was thinking that it was just a walk away from kuya rey's house but of all places it was almost half hour of trip from their house. we got there past 12 i think. tired and groggy after the trip, we still had to drink....for it's the commandment of the group never to pass the night without anyone passing out. and so we made a bonfire and drank until four in the morning...the moon was with us, the cool breeze was so relaxing and the sounds of the waves hitting the shore was such a wonderful sound....we danced the night away aca pella courtesy of course who else (all of us actually)....i grabbed my sleeping bag and spread them on the sand and closed my eyes thinking the whole wide world belongs to me alone... i dunno about the others though but that's how i felt that time. drunk and sleepy eyed, we hit the cottage and snored the remaining hours away...

morning time, with red eyes and swolled tonsils, i hit the waters with the rest of the people...enjoyment was the motto for the day and the remaining nights to come... we all did enjoy the whole time we were drinking, eating, talking nonsense and just being quiet. all of us were even comfortable with what was there life has to offer....and so we went home very very satisfied...

and oh, i almost forgot raymiels birthday which was the reason why we were there in the first place. of course we went to the birthday party and had some blast in the videoke machine complete with choreographed dancing of gina, shine and lora....the totoy bibo of the group (albie was trying his best to get a record deal with his rendition).....meanwhile, poroy and tere were fighting like dog and cat at the corner (geezzz....i should have not written this one...heheheh) peace out to you all....

going home via tagaytay route was all the more exciting. we passed by fantasy world and other highway stores that sells balisong...

i gotta go for now...

somebody will use the pc

Friday, February 11, 2005

time to unwind....

wonderful moments seldom happen. opportunities to commune with nature with the way things are today are rare and somehow should be enjoyed to its fullest. i realized that sometimes, there is a need to destress (if you may permit me to call it). life in the busy metropolis seems to suck out all your energy and somehow drains the best in you. the need to recharge is of course first on my list of to do this weekend...

and so me and my friends from the office will be off to batangas after office to day to hit the beaches there and hopefully binge on birthday food (kuya rey's son will be celebrating his 1st birthday) and of course what else, drown ourselves with alcohol.

last nite, i already packed my things in anticipation of the trip today. i brought some extra shirt just in case we'll extend another day to god knows where...

and since i love the beach more than anything else in the world, it would be a helluva time. beach, binge and beers go together right?

now, lemme tell you whose coming with me (as if i organized the entire thing when i fact i had qualms in coming three days ago), well, shine, gina, tere, and lora for the gals, and poroy, irwin, albie, jay and me for the guys. i think lynette will try to come but i still have doubts if ever she'll really go with us. well, granting from those previous trips where she promised to go and then at the last minute cancelled it.

til here for the meantime. i'l try to post some of the pictures here when we get back.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

lova palooza

yeah, you read it right. lovapalooza. it's not what you're thinking. aw right....im joining on the twelfth. the problem is i have to look for a partner. har har har....anybody there (echo)....:):):)

just in front of out office is baywalk where that anticipated thing will definitely happen. saliva shuffle i may say with the manila sky as the witness. if anybody reads this and your a single unattached gorgeous orally hygienic woman not hitting the age of 30 just yet, well, you know what to do....hahahhaha


it's been over a week since i last attended my class. yep, i was absent for almost two weeks. i dunno what will be the grade that i'l be getting at the end of the semester though. hehehe...i know that i will pass the subjects but of course not with the usual flying colors that i usually get (mejo halata kayabangan ko dito) way back then. but just the same i'l pass....

til here...

Sunday, January 30, 2005

STORING MORE FATS

lately, ive been timid to the bones to hit the gym. i bet im back to my normal 145 lbs again. it's been over a month(45 days to be exact) that i lost my interest in hitting the quarter pounder weights (it's not what you think :)). i dunno, perhaps my busy schedule gets in the way (there we go again). but i promise, next weekend, il pay the instructor a visit (im thinking of painful bis and tris again after a long time of hibernation). but i got to if i want to shape up and regain my former physique (as if i had a nice one before)...

it's sunday and as usual im in my old self not being able to go to the church. if i remembered it right, the last time i had some quiet time was last two weeks ago at the school chapel. yeah, you get it right, at JRU. i had some time to spare i think about 20 more minutes before my biology class and i happen to pass by the chapel. thinking that i aint got nothing to do before the start of the class, i went inside and prayed. there were two people inside also saying their premonitions to the Lord with open eyes ( i wonder why their eyes were open...isnt it improper to pray that way?) anyway, i prayed too (with open eyes....)

today seems to be perfect though but as time and my pocket would not permit, im here in front of the PC updating my blog. il make up this wednesday. im planning to drop by sta. ana church by the way before the biology class again.


hear this, i had some rift with my officemate last friday i could hardly eat my lunch. i was in the mood again to answer back and so it happened that i felt guilty again after doing it. but then, i felt good. i think that if i did not answered back, maybe up until today il be feeling crushed and devastated. but just as it is, i got over it na rin.

the first month of the year is coming to an end (tomorrow will be the last day) and if i have to look back at the blog i did at the start of the year, it seems that i still wasnt able to start my resolution just yet. but im keeping my fingers crossed.


Saturday, January 22, 2005

extra busy lately...

it has been weeks, yet, i kinda feel like it's been years. simpy means, i missed blogging lately. work and school gets in the way. if i remembered it right, i was not able to finish my last blog. i just excused myself but i was not able to go back right away. whatever the reasons i have, i cant recall them anymore. lately, i am always tired after work and school. midterm has just passed like any normal school days but the burden of having to endure the traffic in going to school has been too much to me. after so much contemplation on what better way to do, i finally decided that the best way is to look for a nearer school.

yesterday, i was on a field work in salitran, dasmarinas for an inspection of a proposed immaculate conception hospital. it so happened that the proponent(a medical doctor) owns several medical schools and hospitals in the province of cavite and in manila as well (emilio aguinaldo college). i told him of course im in my 2nd year year of nursing course and offered me the post of head nurse down pat. i chuckled and could not contain my amazement. i just replied if ever that happens, which is years from now ( i may not even know if i could graduate), i gladly look for him and grab the offer. :):) funny right...anyway, there's not much problem with their application actually. i could even prepare them right away so that they could start their construction the soonest time possible. but last night i was thinking of asking for another favor. not for though. but just the same, it is still a favor and would come off as something like im asking you know in return. im afraid i could not do that. but let's wait and see.

it's the feast of sto. nino today back home. i just called back home and bel told me it's drizzling down there (well, if im there, it may be scorching hot perhaps..:):)) anyway, she'll be coming over on the 28th together with her pops.


tomorrow, i will be meeting some of my classmates in high school and theyll be bringing along their wives and hubby. it would be fun and megamall will be a lot noisier...i just called up tere and she has qualms in going there.


til here for the meantime...



Tuesday, January 11, 2005

it's 2005...

kinda late...but better than never to have a new year post here....

looking back (recollecting what's has been behind but not necessarily mean dwelling on the past misfortunes and stumbles) i had fun in 2004. for one, the opening of last year ushered a rather good start for me. i was accepted in a not so financially rewarding job but fulfilling one (that was what i was thinking before...i dont know for now :)) and then, i had too much fun and a lot of excitement when i knew people from outside my scope which includes my officemates and the people i knew along the way (clients i should say). added to that was having to enroll in the masters program and just lately (november to be exact) was nursing school. in the latter part though, i could say i enjoyed a lot until this very minute.

now, before i start to contemplate of what i will be in 2005, id like to chronicle 2004. what has become of me? what are the changes that occured? what were the things that shaped me along the way? how was i able to cope? how did it affected my plans? and all other pressing questions i need to assess myself.

i could not really say that im a changed individual. yes, there were changes but i am still basically me. the previous country side boy that conquered the chaotic world of the city. perhaps, it would be premature to say that i have changed a bit but the thing is, i change for good and not for something people would notice that i leaned towards the evil side. kidding aside, i have been a naughty one when it comes to dealing with people. i learned a lot of things actually. from dealing with the clients, psychologizing them, analyzing their thoughts and words and actions to the minutest detail of having to deal with my coworkers and my boss. the exact term would be MATURITY. yes, ive matured. ive growned. ive outlived my past apprehensions and has become a renewed person physically, emotionally, and dare i say financially? no not this time cos i still owe geline some extra pounds.


talking about being independent, im halfway i guess. i still live with my brother for free (well, except for the cable fee which i promised to pay and only a measly 250 bucks). food, water, electricity, i dont mind them for the moment. il think about it the moment they step out of the country maybe end of this year. for now, il enjoy what's being offered by my accommodating brother.

the year that passed also opened new doors for me. nursing school was not an option before but through the pressing encouragement of the people around me i finally settled to enrolled. at my own expense. whew...financially draining and nerve wracking though. lately though, im beginning to enjoy my studies and the girls (corrupting minors you would say...)

i dont know until when i will be going to and fro from the school but ive vowed to myself that il do better so that i could graduate on time. occasionally, im having a good time just beside the strip of the school for a bottle of beers or two with my classmates. the school? it's not that strict actually. sometimes, i find time


wait. i gotta go.