Wednesday, July 27, 2005

life's a shit!

i finally knew that life is. and who would have thought it would be this way. not in a million years.

im drunk right now. it's 11:30 in the evening and im barely able to contain myself. i was not able to update my blog for a long time and it's high time for me to do so.

after office, shine and i went to albie's house to drink. matador at that. i went home afterwards feeling a lil bit tipsy and arrived home to find that mak had his friend. and so another drinking session.

pulang kabayo. i already downed two bottles and it's quite liberating. i am trying to type here as sober as i could but the keyboard just seem to be offhand. i dunno. i had to strike the backspace a lot of times just to make my work readable. now you'll know why wrong spelling would come out later. i could barely see the screen.

anywaym, tomorrow is the start of my prelims week. il start with health ethics and i hope 8i could pull it off. i havent studied a single copuy of my notes but i still keep muy fingers crossed taht id make it tomorrow.

first thing first, i hope i could pay my bill first because i could not get the exam if i coulndtr pay the bill.

til here im out of tuened yata...

Sunday, July 17, 2005

song to memorize...

i happen to watch pinoy pop superstar two weeks ago and the winner sang this song...


Wency Cornejo

ilang ulit mo nang itinatanong sakin
kung hanggang saan
hanggang saan, hanggang kailan
hanggang kailan magtatagal
ang aking pagmamahal
hanggang may himig pa akong naririnig
dito sa ating daigdig
hanggang may musika akong tinataglay
kita'y iniibig
giliw wag mo sanang isiping
ikaw ay aking lilisanin
'di ko magagawang, lumayo sayong piling
at nais kong malaman mo
kung gaano kita kamahal
hanggang ang diwa ko'y tanging sa 'yo laan
mamahalin kailanman
hanggang pag-ibig ko'y hanggang walang hanggan
tanging ikaw lamang
hanggang may himig pa akong naririnig
dito sa ating daigdig
hanggang may musika akong tinataglay
kita'y iniibig
hanggang may puso akong marunong magmahal
na ang isinisigaw ay lagi nang ikaw
hanggang saan, hanggang kailan
hanggang kailan kitang mahal
hanggang ang buhay ko'y kunin ng maykapal
hanggang may pag-ibig
laging isisigaw tanging ikaw

my japanese name...

Your Japanese Name Is...

Masakazu Hojo

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

the flare of writing...

i wasnt able to finish my blog last time. talk of laziness and fatigue. well, not so much of laziness i guess but perhaps due to time constraint. i hardly had the time to check my mails anymore. even though my internet connection is back in the office, the bulk of work is just too much to bear i could not even have the time to open my ym ad.

aside from the fact that school is financially draining, the thought of just having to work full time the whole day and attend classes at night seemed a bit too offbeat. a week ago, someone commented that i was physically deteriorating (i hope she was not referring to someone as skinny as the one pictured out in the movies) or should i say i lost some pounds. i was a bit elated knowing that indeed i am losing weight but on the other hand i was thinking that maybe. well, just maybe, the toll of having no enough rest and not enough sleep is slowly weaving its way. and so after that incident, i am taking my vitamins again which have been put aside for quite sometime now. and then i resumed having my milk every night again. with the exception of course if i had some bottles of beer i would not take the milk anymore.

this sunday, i was with gina and geline to attend mass. yeah, finally i'm back in God's bosom. not a mass actually since we attended the sunday service of bread of life ministries in glorietta cinema 6. last saturday though, geline texted me that she could not make it for the sunday church because she was to attend a birthday party. and so i told her that even without her i am coming since as i said i'l be fixing my life starting this week. i dunno what happened but she changed her mind and opted to go with us. she even treated us to free lunch at mcdo. whoah...very kind of her.

what i was supposed to blog last time was the incident in the sunday service. it was enlightening. really. the whole time of the sermon, i was touched to the bones that i was in the midst of soul searching. what have i done this past weeks and months why i am so sensitive to what the pastor was talking. i could not even contain my emotions i have to shed tears the whole time. but of course gel and gina could hardly notice them since the lights were dim inside the theater. even the songs were so meaningful i was crying the whole time they were singing. i dunno. perhaps because of my long absence from the church. or perhaps because i've sinned too much repentance was creeping right into the heart of me. i was renewed. i alighted from the theater feeling like a new person and a new being. i was new again. i felt like a big load was taken off my back. i was thinking the whole time of those persons who have pained me and vowed that i will no longer hold any grudges and harbor vengeance for i know that i dont forgive i'll never be forgiven too. after sharing lunch with gel and gina and exchanging some thoughts about what transpired, i said that this coming sunday, i'm going back again to hear the mass in glorietta (they have free coffee and bread)...isnt that great? where could you find a first class church service in a premiere mall at that with coffee and bread? only in just have to bring your coat though because it's so cold in there i tell you.

today, i attended my euthenics class (read: personality development). the administration of our school thinks that there is a need for nurses to develop their personalities that we have to agonize with the one unit course once a week. frankly speaking, i hate the subject. but then after attending the subject today( my last two meetings were a disaster since i always arrive in the class when the teacher is about to dismiss them). and so i was very early. il be punctual this time i said. our teacher, Mr. Batula or rather Ms. Batula is homosexual and the exchange of ideas between the students is great. and so i started to like the subject. since he's gay, the conversation inside the room is full humor and witty notes on the side.

i think i'l sleep now.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

fixing my life....

fix your life! (or umayos ka!)in office and clique jargon has been a byword for me. a usual remark when a person is not acting or saying the right thing. lately