Tuesday, July 12, 2005

the flare of writing...

i wasnt able to finish my blog last time. talk of laziness and fatigue. well, not so much of laziness i guess but perhaps due to time constraint. i hardly had the time to check my mails anymore. even though my internet connection is back in the office, the bulk of work is just too much to bear i could not even have the time to open my ym ad.

aside from the fact that school is financially draining, the thought of just having to work full time the whole day and attend classes at night seemed a bit too offbeat. a week ago, someone commented that i was physically deteriorating (i hope she was not referring to someone as skinny as the one pictured out in the movies) or should i say i lost some pounds. i was a bit elated knowing that indeed i am losing weight but on the other hand i was thinking that maybe. well, just maybe, the toll of having no enough rest and not enough sleep is slowly weaving its way. and so after that incident, i am taking my vitamins again which have been put aside for quite sometime now. and then i resumed having my milk every night again. with the exception of course if i had some bottles of beer i would not take the milk anymore.

this sunday, i was with gina and geline to attend mass. yeah, finally i'm back in God's bosom. not a mass actually since we attended the sunday service of bread of life ministries in glorietta cinema 6. last saturday though, geline texted me that she could not make it for the sunday church because she was to attend a birthday party. and so i told her that even without her i am coming since as i said i'l be fixing my life starting this week. i dunno what happened but she changed her mind and opted to go with us. she even treated us to free lunch at mcdo. whoah...very kind of her.

what i was supposed to blog last time was the incident in the sunday service. it was enlightening. really. the whole time of the sermon, i was touched to the bones that i was in the midst of soul searching. what have i done this past weeks and months why i am so sensitive to what the pastor was talking. i could not even contain my emotions i have to shed tears the whole time. but of course gel and gina could hardly notice them since the lights were dim inside the theater. even the songs were so meaningful i was crying the whole time they were singing. i dunno. perhaps because of my long absence from the church. or perhaps because i've sinned too much repentance was creeping right into the heart of me. i was renewed. i alighted from the theater feeling like a new person and a new being. i was new again. i felt like a big load was taken off my back. i was thinking the whole time of those persons who have pained me and vowed that i will no longer hold any grudges and harbor vengeance for i know that i dont forgive i'll never be forgiven too. after sharing lunch with gel and gina and exchanging some thoughts about what transpired, i said that this coming sunday, i'm going back again to hear the mass in glorietta (they have free coffee and bread)...isnt that great? where could you find a first class church service in a premiere mall at that with coffee and bread? only in philippines....you just have to bring your coat though because it's so cold in there i tell you.

today, i attended my euthenics class (read: personality development). the administration of our school thinks that there is a need for nurses to develop their personalities that we have to agonize with the one unit course once a week. frankly speaking, i hate the subject. but then after attending the subject today( my last two meetings were a disaster since i always arrive in the class when the teacher is about to dismiss them). and so i was very early. il be punctual this time i said. our teacher, Mr. Batula or rather Ms. Batula is homosexual and the exchange of ideas between the students is great. and so i started to like the subject. since he's gay, the conversation inside the room is full humor and witty notes on the side.

i think i'l sleep now.

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