Thursday, April 20, 2006

there is nothing for me..

there could never be another form or true stupidity. though they come in all forms and in different packages, they are cloaked in one and the same mask. in time, true colors will come out. time may stand still if we manipulate it but never the setting sun and the rays of the morning light.
the passing days has been so full of highs and lows. just last night i was ecstatic over some things and someone i just met and then at this very moment, im depressed again. am i into a deja vu again? there were a lot of instances before when i would feel this way when the sun would come done and touch the horizon of the sea. it's as if my heart and feeling comes with the setting of the sun. ironic that for several days now, i've been out of town for some field work and i would not feel this way. today however is different. have i pained someone that i feel this way? did i unleash my sarcastic side again? was i tolerant of what is happening around me? i don't know.
the other day, or should i say the other night, i was on my usual drinking mode session again. and so i was able to down more than seven bottles of lights. the day after, i was swearing to good heavens again that i would not take a sip of alcohol again because of the stinging head ache. i hope that i could maintain that for another week or so. but with the rate things are going i wish to God he would help me out. i hate this feeling. you dont know what is the reason why you're lonely. you don't know the reason why you feel this way. you don't know what is the happening around and you just play along with the tides of time. while my not so mediocre lifestyle has been on its peak these past weeks, my emotional upheavals has been going down the drains.
it's the day after i wrote what is above. and as usual it's getting darker again. it's forty minutes past 4 already and its friday. i am sad again. the sadness fever usually bites me during this time of the day. too much happiness has its price to pay they say. while i was

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