Thursday, September 21, 2006

with a heavy heart...

Last night took its toll on me. I felt that everything is a blur. I have a heavy heart like I felt I was carrying an extra baggage on my shoulder. I felt like my world is gonna end and as if something inside of me will explode. Indescribable feeling and confused mind as to what is really happening to me. knowing that bel was not in the office for three days and I do not know about it devastated me. how come I don’t know when I am the boyfriend who must know everything. The communication lines I believe was broken for almost a month I admit. I was too considerate for the last weeks when she would tell me that her phone is off or it’s not functioning and that it has ran out of battery. I kept my thoughts with me even though I was hurt why she has to do that to me. but two days ago was different. This time, she told me that she won’t have a phone anymore and she hates having a phone. I am postulating that probably since my mom texts her and calls her sometimes maybe, just maybe she don’t like it. And so she’s dropping her phone which I think brought me to oblivion last night. I was crying on the phone last night with shy because I cant talk to anyone her in the office. for one they don’t know about my situation and it would be too cheesy for me and too early to bother them with my personal life. Besides I don’t want them to be involved with my personal life just like what happened in my previous office. good thing shy was a listening gal. Supposedly, we were to have coffee at sm mall of asia but was cancelled because bvhoy has a date with tin. And so I went home early yesterday and has to contend to sleep right away without eating to disembark from this lonely world. (I wonder though that when I woke up this morning I was never hungry at all when all I ate was just 2 slices of pizza and two pieces of crackers downed with a glass of orange juice).

My labyrinthine life defeats the purpose of a straight path I must take.

No comments: