Thursday, October 26, 2006

of chest pains and confusions...

The sky this morning is a little bit skewed. The gray clouds embrace the tips of Makati skyline threatening to shower the metropolis in no time at all. Outside, though it was already past six in the morning where the usual bystanders would sit outside the shanty houses, the mood was gloomy. The usual sight of dirty and naked children along the estero is nowhere in sight. Probably gone in school or are still asleep with the taste of Christmas morning breeze. The morning talkers holding their coffee cup with cigarette on the other hand could not be seen at all. Passing through the esquinita, the breakfast vendors that has decorated every corner of the small walkways has a melancholic face. There was not much people around which means there is not much money coming in. The stinking smell on the walkways is so arrogant it could flare up your nostrils. Dog pooh and other unsightly sceneries make up the morning travel to the office in a hurried way. Unmindful of the ambiguity of every passing day, I go on with the usual morning routine.

Stretch, go back to sleep, stretch again, get up, shower, dress up. In more than thirty minutes, I’m here in my office tapping my keyboard.

Shortly after dinner last night, I had chest pains. It’s on the right side and it wont just go away. I was thinking that maybe it was just some muscle twitching but then before I hit the bed, I kind of still having the pains that every time I turn on the other side there is a muscle being pinched. Worst, it’s so painful I would groan most of the time. But then, I had good night sleep it didn’t bother me at all when I got to wonderland. Probably due to fatigue the day before. Physically and emotionally. This morning, the pain is still there. And so I thought of seeing the Office physician today so that I could have a professional opinion on what is happening to me. Though it has been bugging me the whole night and also this morning that this is brought (well, in part I guess) by the heart break that floored me last Friday I could still not get over the fat that there must be something else. Well I guess it add up perhaps to what has been my emotional state. And so I am confused. Is the pain more of my emotional dwindle or it is my medical condition that needs a little bit pf propping up. It was only last month that I had my medical check up but ECG was not a part of it. I am thinking that maybe I have some sickness with my respiratory system because ever since the world began I had this malfunctioning of my heart and other organs and tissues that involves my breathing.

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